Remedy For Rape

In a recent sermon by a Muslim cleric in Australia, (what do you know, that is three in a row for the boys down under), the cure for rape was finally imparted to the unbelievers. Yes, little did us Christians know that the Islamic world had found a solution for the violent act of sexually assaulting women. Boy do I feel stupid. The solution was so obvious and yet, with our superior technology and social enlightenment, we have been too short sighted to see the forest through the trees. Little did we suspect that by covering a woman from head to toe, leaving no spot of flesh for a man’s eyes to lust after, we can completely and permanently solve that age old issue of rape. I am so happy that that issue has been solved. Now we can move onto bigger issues like radical Islamic ideology and terrorist suicide bombers.

Somehow, the Islamic solution fails to address the fundamental issue of rape. We have been told again and again that rape is not a crime of sex; it is a crime of violence and control. Lust is one thing but the act of attacking someone and violating their person does not appear to run in the same vein. Covering a woman with heavy cloth and veils does not solve the issue of the violence and control for “a would” be rapist. It only makes it more difficult to get her clothes off. I guess the added clothes provide the time for the rape rescue teams to get there and stop the violation. Yea, like men in the Islamic world would waste the time assisting a female in trouble. You almost get the impression that the Middle East Islamic culture would rather do without women. If it wasn’t for the need to make more men, I think they would have all the women done away with.

So now that we have the solution for stopping rape firmly in hand and know that it is a tried and true method, we should put that knowledge into action. Contact your congressman or senator and let them know we need to put the Burka Enforcement Law into effect. It would require any female past the age 5 to be covered from head to toe with heavy fabric, preferably burlap (it’s nice and itchy) when they are not inside a residence. We may also have to restrict their access to the workplace because the heavy clothes will eliminate access to many jobs. Just a tip for those out there, find a manufacturer of burlap and buy plenty of stock now. I think your boat is about to set sail.

Icool

Cobb

6 º of Kangaroo Jack

I of course am stealing shamelessly from the game Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon. The game, in a nut shell, is that you can link any Hollywood actor to Kevin Bacon in less than 6 moves; the shorter the list, the better. The example that Wikopedia gave was Val Kilmer. They connected him to Tom Cruise in Top Gun and then to a Few Good Men with Kevin Bacon. So you have two degrees of separation between Val Kilmer and Kevin Bacon. So what does that have to do with Kangaroo Jack?

Well, in a previous post, I talked about vegemite and the movie Kangaroo Jack. The movie is about two young men from New York. Jerry O’Connell from the TV show Sliders plays Charlie Carbone, the step son of a mafia boss. Anthony Anderson plays Louis, who is always scheming to make big bucks and getting into trouble. Louis gets Charlie to help him move some televisions and they end up leading the police to Charlie’s step father’s warehouse. The step father, Salvatore Maggio, is played by Christopher Walken. He is not happy with the pair and sends them to Australia with $50,000 to pay a hit man. The hit is on them and they are carrying the money themselves.



Well, on their way, they hit a kangaroo and decide to make it a photo opportunity. They think the kangaroo is dead and Louis puts his “lucky jacket” on the animal. The animal recovers and runs off with the jacket which just happens to have the $50,000 in it. The rest of the movie is spent trying to recover the money. In one of the scenes, Charlie is watching this old Australian guy, Blue, pound shots at the bar. Louis has schemed that you can hire an airplane and tranquilize the kangaroo. As they are calling the pilot, Blue walks by to go to the bathroom and passes out on the floor. As the phone they are calling from rings, Blue’s phone rings also. He is the pilot. Of course in the next scene, he is flying the plane. Those Aussies sure can hold their booze.

So where does the six degrees of Kangaroo Jack come in? Kevin Bacon was in the 1994 movie A River Wild with Meryl Streep. Christopher Walken was in the 1978 movie Deer Hunter with Meryl Streep. The character Blue was played by an Australian actor named Bill Hunter. Bill Hunter is the voice of the dentist in Disney’s 2003 smash Finding Nemo. I don’t know if you are supposed to play it that way but I thought it was an interesting connection. If you listen to the dentist after watching Kangaroo Jack, you can hear it clearly. Good day mate.


Icool

Cobb

Vegemite Sandwich

Back at the birth of MTV, when they had VJ’s and still played videos, you had a band out of Australia called Men At Work. Their big hits were Down Under and Who Can It Be Now? and their videos all had the bug eyes lead singer, Colin Hay. Down Under was recently used in the movie Kangaroo Jack which of course was a buddy movie about two young men and one cute girl looking for a kangaroo in the Australian outback. It was a cute movie with the best performance actually coming from Christopher Walken. But I digress.

In the song Down Under, they sing about something called vegemite. Now for Americans, that has no meaning. For the longest time, I thought it was a vegetarian sandwich with like a tofu or veggie burger base. Since you never know what other cultures find to be appetizing, it could have been that Australians, heavy in marsupials and light on cattle had turned away from meat and switched to vegetables. Who knew? But vegemite is actually a spread that is put on toast. It is a dark salty food paste that is made from yeast extract. Yum! The brand name is currently owned and manufactured by Kraft foods in Australia.

Vegemite hit the news recently as the US government is cracking down on Aussie citizens bringing small quantities into this country for their own consumption. The USDA has prohibited the import of vegemite because it contains Folic Acid, a B vitamin that has been approved as an additive for just a few foods, breakfast cereal is the major one. Why the USDA would be out for a yeast based sandwich spread is beyond my comprehension but they are now confiscating bottles at the border. So, if you’re from the land down under, it may be a while on your vegemite sandwich. So how about a song from Men At Work while you wait.

Down Under - Men at Work

Traveling in a fried-out combie
On a hippie trail, head full of zombie
I met a strange lady, she made me nervous
She took me in and gave me breakfast
And she said,
"Do you come from a land down under?
Where women glow and men plunder?
Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?
You better run, you better take cover."
Buying bread from a man in Brussels
He was six foot four and full of muscles
I said, "Do you speak-a my language?"
He just smiled and gave me a vegemite sandwich
And he said,
"I come from a land down under
Where beer does flow and men chunder
Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?
You better run, you better take cover."
Lying in a den in Bombay
With a slack jaw, and not much to say
I said to the man, "Are you trying to tempt me
Because I come from the land of plenty?"
And he said,
"Oh! Do you come from a land down under? (oh yeah yeah)
Where women glow and men plunder?
Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?
You better run, you better take cover."

Icool

Cobb

Haunted House

Am I imagining things or have the number of haunted houses, corn mazes, and other Halloween attractions multiplying? I hear the radio commercials for haunted houses and my children have been to some of the local ones including the big one at Cedar Point. I do not remember quite the profusion of Halloween activities growing up or even over the last few years but since I am famous for being oblivious to things that are of no interest, I may just be barking up the wrong tree.

Halloween seems to have become big business as of late. We had 5 bags of candy last year and had to turn our light out after about an hour of trick or treating. Of course we live in a sizable subdivision and there are tons of kids in the neighborhood. I also see vans parking across the street in the elementary school parking lot and kids piling out of them. Halloween is a night for kids. As long as the mischief is kept to a minimum, (which means for me none) I am good with the costumed youngsters racing from house to house in search of future dental work.

As far as the haunted houses, I don’t think that I will visit one this year. I enjoy a good scare like anyone else but I am a bit jaded by the whole horror genre. My generation was introduced to Jamie Lee Curtis in the original Halloween and Jason in Friday the 13th. I remember seeing A Nightmare Elm Street and thinking this is the best horror film ever. Since CGI has elevated the graphics in movies, they can make the blood seem more real but can they scare us any more? I guess every new attempt provides a different twist on the horror theme. With The Grudge and Saw movies, they are finding out how far they can push this category of entertainment. I have seen both and although they were scary, I will take Freddie Krueger any day. Anyone that can get you in your dreams has my vote for the baddest you can get.

Icool

Cobb

Welcome To Wal-Mart

Back in 1976, on one of our family vacations to visit relatives in Oklahoma, I was introduced to Wal-Mart. We crossed the state line of Oklahoma into Arkansas where my cousins were ecstatic about this store that carried everything. The store was located in Siloam Springs, Arkansas which is within spitting distance of Wal-Mart’s world head quarters. At the time I was not overly impressed with the store. I asked why they didn’t shop at K-Mart. Coming from Ohio, that was the big discount chain at the time.

Fast forward 30 years and you have little old Wal-Mart as the big dog on the block. They have taken out the US competition and now offer low prices on just about everything you would want to buy. They have managed to avoid any relationship with unions, keep prices low, and grow their business. It is simple. Get the things that people want to buy to the shelves where people want to buy it, when they are there to shop. Also, do it at a price they are willing to pay. It’s simple in theory but not always easy to implement. Note the number of retailers that have either gone belly up or tired to; Montgomery Wards and K-Mart among the big names.

Wal-Mart has kept prices low by going where the bargains are and demanding that their target prices are met. They have squeezed their suppliers to make them leaner and continued to wring cost out of the supply chain. When domestic costs do not meet the needs of their customers, they go overseas. This has brought the spotlight on Wal-Mart as a corporation. They are buying from China and other low cost producers to allow Americans to buy at the best price. This makes sense to me but for some reason bothers other Americans. Some US citizens prefer to pay higher prices or at least they seem to enjoy that privilege. Wal-Mart has managed to keep the rest of the retail business honest by keeping prices low. The casualties of this war have been the small “ma and pa” shops that cannot buy enough to get the big cost breaks. I feel bad for the family business that struggled and gave up. But this happens every day. Look at car manufacturers 100 years ago. There were many small businesses out there making automobiles. Some did it well and succeeded and some went by the way side. It is called competition. I guess that is what people are afraid of. They cannot stand to lose so they strike out at the obvious target, those who are successful and try to bring them down. Whether it is unions, environmental groups, or small businesses, they are all looking for a scapegoat for their lack of success. It goes back to a definition I am sure to have used before; “If you always do, what you’ve always done, then you’ll always get, what you always got.” That is not a recipe for success.

Icool

Cobb

It Ain’t Heavy

Element 118 has recently been created by a team of American and Russian scientists. It was made by smashing atoms of Californium (98 protons) with atoms of Calcium (20 protons) to produce an element with 118 protons. This element rests under the line on noble gases on the periodic table so it would be inert like Neon or Argon. It is amazing that work continues on creating new (at least as far as man knows) elements to add to the current list.

No name has yet been chosen for this new element. That will come once the scientific community has had a chance to review all of the data and confirm that the element was indeed created. The confirmation needs to be done because this is the second time that this element has been claimed to be created. A team of scientists made this announcement in 2002 but it was found to be inaccurate. I use that word because I know that scientists would never falsify data for their own ends. Uh-huh.

So maybe this element should be called Hoaxium or Falsium. Since it’s birth was originally announced and found to be premature or rather a lie, it would make sense to name it after its origins. I am sure the discoverers will come up with a much more noble name (ha, ha noble gas) that ends in “on”. Since the nucleus of the atom is so large, it may be reaching the size that does not allow further additions of protons. If that is the case, it will be the last of the line of noble elements. There is an animal that is considered to be proud, fierce, and noble. I think the scientific community should consider calling the element Lion. It is regal, ends in “on”, fits with the two syllable names for the other family members, and also provides a parody of its origin. So here is to element 118.

Icool

Cobb

Latest Fashion Accessory

I never thought I would be thinking about the world of high fashion. I am not one to look at the latest trends and I think that the ultra thin models are hideous. If I can see your ribs and pelvis bone, you need to eat something. I am more in line with a little meat on the bone instead of just the bone. I prefer to wear what is comfortable and has proven itself in the past as opposed to spending the money for what will be replaced in six months. I am sure that the red carpet commentators would have a field day with my daily wear but since I will never have to do the red carpet thing, it is not an issue.

One of the latest trends in the Hollywood trend setting crowd is their affinity for 3rd world children. Somehow, it has become the got to have item for today’s elite fashion crowd. It started (or at least appeared to start) with Angelina Jolie adopting her first child. It followed with a second adoption for her. Now Madonna has gotten into the act by adopting an orphaned child. I can’t wait to see who will be the next Hollywood star to want to have an orphan of their own. It must be great to get all of that publicity by adopting an unfortunate child from a 3rd world country and transporting them into the life style of the rich and famous. These kids would probably have starved and lived a miserable life had they been left to survive in their original home. With these Hollywood elites, I am not sure they will receive any better treatment on the emotional level. At least they won’t starve or wear rags.

I am thinking about seeing if my wife wants to get into this fashion trend. Yes, I am thinking about adopting a less fortunate child from one of the coastal states. It would probably have to be New York or California. I am sure that we could provide a better home with a more solid moral center. We do not have the beaches or the night clubs here in the heartland but we do have Cedar Point and the Great Lakes. We are not surrounded by people that are more concerned about the clothes we wear that how we act. They say that 1st impressions are lasting impressions but looking like a million dollars and being obsessed by the bling instead of the substance provides a definite and lasting impression. So hopefully we will be able to locate one of those less fortunate coastal orphans and become part of the latest fashion craze.

Icool

Cobb

Extreme Home Makeover

I have found a television show that I find to be profoundly Christian in its thought, word and deed. That show is Extreme Home Makeover (EHM). If you haven’t seen the show, it involves the network finding a family that has had either a tragedy or a family issue. The premise is that a team of people (the show’s stars) look at the problems affecting the family and devise a new house that will greatly facilitate a better life. The one thing they always look for is that his family has not wallowed in the self pity of the “whoa is me” mentality and despite the adversity they are facing, are giving back to the community. The group looks at each family member and tailors the house and individual living spaces to that person’s life. While the house is being built (yes they build a house from scratch in a week), the family is sent on a dream vacation.

Many of the families that have been treated to an EHM are getting along just fine with their current situation. They have learned to cope with what is going on in their lives. Someone outside has noticed their needs and they become candidates for the program. A recent episode (I have seem 3 shows, so I am not an expert) had a three children family, one son with, I believe multiple sclerosis. The mother is the primary care giver for the son with MS. She carries him throughout the house because his wheel chair does not fit in the halls. She dresses him, bathes him and even sleeps with him due to an issue with possible seizures at night. Her husband used to do the lifting but has suffered two heart attacks and is no longer capable. The mother also organized a baseball league in her town for children that cannot participate in the normal organized sports. She wanted her son to be able to play baseball and found other parents that felt the same way. This was her community contribution.

So they put up this beautiful house that has a monitor in the bed that detects seizures so the mother can start sleeping with her husband. There was a mechanized transport sling going from the bed to the bathroom to facilitate easier movement. A sit down shower so lowering into a tub is no longer necessary. There were a host of other improvements like wider halls that made for easier care of the disabled child. It was very heartwarming to see the appreciative reaction from the family. The relief of getting out from under the burden that had become a part of their lives was very apparent. An added bonus for this episode was that they were able to salvage the house. Normally they demolish the home and start over but this one appeared to be a modular home and it was donated to Habitat For Humanity so another family could start a better life.

Although there was no mention of God in the show, it looks like He is working through these people. The design team (at least on camera) is very dedicated to their task and appears to enjoy helping people. Someone has seen a family that is giving and caring and could use just a little help to make their life significantly easier. It is those who live through the adversity and remain true to their purposes that are obviously worthy of such gifts. It is much tougher to give anything to those who come with their hands out and simply expect to be helped. Jesus directed us to love one another and help one another. He did not give us the option of choosing based on our perceived level of worthiness. God has directed us to help everyone. It is families like the one on EHM that make giving easier. Unfortunately, by only being charitable for those we deem deserving, we are not following God’s path for us. What a tough row to hoe.

Icool

Cobb

Are You A Serious Terrorist?

For those, as adults, who have engaged in a serious disagreement that resulted in some form of violence, you could have the makings for a first class terrorist. Whether it is beating someone up in a bar for talking to your girl / boyfriend, beating up your spouse for some perceived marital infraction, or just plain road rage, you may be a candidate for application into that most hallowed of clubs; terrorist. Now I am not including children in this category because they have not had the opportunity to grow up and act responsible. They do not realize that punching the wall or kicking the dog, in many homes, will not get you your way. It is after we have had a chance to become mature (accept responsibility for our own actions) adults that we can understand the path to terrorism.

An adult (I am talking about the mature kind) will first try to reason with the person they are having a problem with. If both parties are mature, you get a compromise. If one party is submissive, you get one dominant over the other. The phrase brains over brawn is an accurate statement when you have two parties that realize that physical harm will result in pain, suffering and even possibly death. That logic circuit is in place and the repercussions of adverse actions is thought through and replaced by the realization that compromise works for me. For those who do not understand that actions have consequences, force works and the ends justify the means. But to become a terrorist, you must be able to throw all caution to the wind. You may be called upon to make the ultimate sacrifice; blow up yourself and hopefully hundreds of others.

Yes, becoming a suicide bomber is where terrorism is going today. Whether you are an Islamic fundamentalist (terrorist) or a freedom fighter (terrorist) trying to win independence for your sect, culture, or territorial clan, you may be called on to strap a bomb to your body and walk into a crowded shopping center or bus or drive you vehicle into a check point or recruitment center. The ultimate sacrifice to achieve your goals is what matters. The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the few or the one. (Sorry Spock) What is great is that there is one less terrorist out there. The downside is the publicity the sick twisted group manages to get and the loss of life and property (not necessarily in that order.) If there was only a training camp where they could practice suicide bombing before being sent out. Now that would be a great suggestion. So for those who lack the maturity to approach the issue through civilized means and work to solve problems in a mature manner, I have the career path for you. Of course you must be 18 years or older to order, some assembly required, batteries not included.

Icool

Cobb

Shush, It’s A Secret

With US demand for electricity continuing to growing at a steady rate, we have outgrown our current capacity to generate enough for our own use. Due to pressure from the environmentalist lunatic fringe, there have been issues getting new generating plants put in place to support our electricity requirements. Putting a new nuclear plant up in the United States is like converting the nations of Islam to Judaism. The confused fringe of the green movement has gotten the ear of enough governmental officials (or maybe compromising pictures or video) to create pause when it comes to putting up nuclear plants. Nuclear plants may be big and potentially dangerous if not maintained (like Chernobyl or TMI) but they do generate inexpensive electricity without producing the ingredients of acid rain. Yet technology marches on.

The other logical option for electrical generation plants is coal. I know, it generates the smoke from burning the coal and pollutes the air. However, this is where technology comes to the rescue. It is only logical that new coal fired plants would be required to have negligible emissions. The technology is there to create virtually zero pollution when burning the coal. Gee, let’s see. Creating a line of new technology that greatly reduces pollution and the construction of numerous coal generation plants would be a two fold boost for America. Not to mention the ability to shut down older less productive plants and the increase in electricity output. I see it as a win, win, win. However, the misguided green movement will see only urban sprawl, wetlands issues, and environmental destruction. I wonder what cave complex they live in to be so backward in their thinking. Hopefully they take the same path as the Neanderthals and disappear mysteriously.

Here is why new coal fired plants make so much sense; America is oil poor but coal rich. We don’t hear too much about our coal wealth. America has been blessed with enough coal to last for 250 to 300 years. That is twice as long as the oil is expected to hold out. Now I am not saying that we do not need to explore alternative sources like hydrogen but we have the fuel and the technology so why not quench the need right now, and in 10 or 20 years when the hydrogen infrastructure is in place, we will need to update again and the time will be right. Waiting for the brown outs to become common place is a step backward. Using what you have, realizing that it is a stop gap to a better way only makes sense. But then again, I am not a tree hugger. I realize that things change and that man is the only creature on the planet that has the ability to change its own environment. If that wasn’t the case, we would still be leafing through Sears catalogue while sitting outside in the half moon house.

Icool

Cobb

Old Enough To Vote

Growing up, the age of 18 was that magic number that gave you all kinds of privileges. Back in the olden days, Ohio had a law that allowed 18 year olds to drink something called 3.2 beer. It was beer with an alcohol content that did not exceed 3.2% by content. Since normal beer was supposed to be somewhere around 7%, you had to drink twice as much. I just spent more time going to the bathroom. At 18, you could also vote and you were considered a legal adult by the powers that be. The most important was viewed as the right to drink. Somewhere in the following years, the legal drinking age went to 21 and 3.2% beer went the way of the passenger pigeon.

Well, this weekend marked my 18th anniversary. There is no magic privilege or right that comes with crossing that threshold. With marriage, your magic numbers seem to be 25 and 50. Your children are supposed to throw a surprise party on both of those occasions as they are the milestones for marriage. I look at it slightly different. My wife is my best friend. Even after 18 years, I would rather spend the day with her than anyone else I know. I have noticed that our conversations are much briefer than they were before we had children. We seem to be able to communicate with much fewer words and just the right look will start either of us smiling or laughing. It is not that we do not have things to talk about. It is that we have settled most of the big issues early on and figured out the best method for the day to day stuff.

We played golf to celebrate our anniversary. It was slightly chilly and windy but sunny. We both played well but as usual, my wife beat me. That is nothing new. I think in the 20 years we have been together, I have beaten her 4 times. We went to dinner at a favorite restaurant Bravo. It is an Italian chain restaurant that opened in Toledo about a year ago. When we lived in Dayton, it was our favorite place to eat. Finally we went to see “Man of the Year” with Robin Williams. It had its funny moments but once was enough. All of the children had plans for Saturday, some of which interfered with our day. We worked around the issues but as our marriage passed that rite of passage age, we celebrated 18 years together. I look forward to 20 years when I plan to take a second honeymoon. It is either back to Vermont to watch the foliage (we did that on our 1st honeymoon) or south to the Mexican Caribbean for some fun in the sun. Wahoo!


Icool

Cobb

Here We Go Again

An article in the Health section of Yahoo provides another chapter in the battle to prevent anyone from being offended. The article titled, “Experts Want To Rename Schizophrenia” says the term schizophrenia has no scientific validity and is imprecise and stigmatizing. That “symptoms such as delusions, hearing voices and hallucinations are not the results of the illness but may be reactions to traumatic and troubling events in life.” We must not offend anyone by labeling them with a name that has been prevalent since psychiatry started. Since we have discovered new and different diseases and methods of treatment, we can no longer lump people that suffer from the general schizophrenic symptoms into one group. I guess that will allow the doctors that treat this specific mental illness to specialize even further.

I would like to take this absurdity one step further. Since there is a stigma about having cancer, I want the disease renamed. Since the symptoms may differ with each type of cancer, such as hearing voices with a brain tumor, losing a lung with pulmonary cancer or a few feet of intestines with colon cancer. Each of these is different and should have a new and less offensive title as to not stigmatize those that suffer the ailment. How about cranial ventriloqual condition? Or abdominal innard reductus condition. We can’t call it a syndrome as that also holds a stigma. Let’s stamp out the name cancer from people so they do not have to suffer the indignity of being labeled as a cancer sufferer or survivor.

Or maybe we should look at eliminating anything that implies that you are something other than a citizen. All labels should be removed as to not stigmatize someone by calling them a barber or policeman or doctor. Those labels imply that someone has more education or higher status in the pecking order or more authority than someone else. By calling everyone citizen, we negate anyone from being embarrassed by the career path they have chosen. It also sounds a lot like Karl Marx and his lost cause of creating a utopia of everyone being equal. Sorry, human nature is based on competition not stagnation. So Citizen, lets all hold hands and think of different, less offensive ways to describe the multiple symptoms that are currently called schizophrenia.

Icool

Cobb

It’s The Little Things

Chalk up a banner time at my house. All three of my children have had events that made their weeks. I’ll call it a triple single. The first event happened with my middle daughter trying out for a jazz band at school. She is a very good clarinetist for her age and excels in music. My wife was part of the Anthony Wayne Marching Generals during their heyday with under the direction of Mr. Shoemaker (I know, ancient history) so she has been able to work with her. We also had a good friend from Baltimore, (also a Marching General) who teaches music, work with her during a recent visit. Of course, since this is good news, she made the jazz band. The bad part is that practice is before school on Tuesdays and Thursdays. There is always a downside to good news.

My son’s football team ended their season on Sunday with a 3-2 season. He has been very excited this year about playing football. I think he likes it. Getting out there and tackling boys bigger than him is quite the pump. He has been center on offense which was not much to his liking but when you play pee-wee football and the coaches’ son plays for your team, you don’t get to be the star (or even try out for it). If he tries out next year, it will be with the school with paid coaches. Maybe he’ll have a shot for the position he tries out for if there is not a familial influence being exerted.

My oldest daughter went to the Perrysburg homecoming dance on Saturday. She originally had a date with a boy from Michigan but he ended up not being in the picture when the event took place. She was asked numerous times but ended up going by herself. She had a great time at the dance. She danced all night and it ended up being a better time without her date from Michigan. He would have been miserable anyway as he did not know anyone here. So all in all it has been a banner time at my house. It is the numerous little things that make life fun.

Icool

Cobb

Why Are We Here?

I would not dream of attacking that age old question; what is the meaning of life? That is best left to the deep thinking philosopher, acid rock musicians or science fiction novelist. Philosophers have been attacking that question since they realized it was a question. And Douglas Adams (Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy) answered the question once and for all by giving us the equation 9 times 6 equals 42. I have no idea what that means but since it appears to be gibberish, I will take it that he did not know either. Neither philosophers, nor musicians, nor novelists have adequately provided the enlightenment of the ages, so I have had to piece it together myself. I am afraid that my pieces are kind of like a jig saw puzzle for the visually impaired but it is a work in progress and I am comfortable with my results. I guess that is the important thing.

During my search, I have spent endless hours listening to music. Somehow I felt that a musician’s lyrics played with the right music would provide the way. Unfortunately, that turned out to be a dead end of sorts. I did come across one song that seemed to stick in the back of my mind. It was too simple of an explanation but it did seem to point in the right direction. The song is All You Need Is Love by The Beatles. I knew there was more to my search than that but it somehow provided a base to build on. Actually, it provides the direction to take in this great philosophical search. I was, at that point in my life, too young and lacking maturity to understand that point.

So here I am, mid-40’s, married, hopelessly in love with my wife, 3 gregarious children, and working on the real ingredient to the meaning of life. The Beatles left numerous clues to follow. “Money Can’t Buy Me Love” provides a great insight into chasing after wealth as a means of happiness. In the end, it is just a pile of toys that someone else gets to play with. Getting the career and climbing the corporate ladder was the next area that I though would get me there. That comment that on my death bed, I would say that I wished I had spent more time at work hit very solidly home. Having a family and spending time with them ended up being a sizable slice of how I found happiness. Being happy is a big part of the meaning of life but it still leaves a big hole. Getting to know God and realizing that he is the creator of all life was the final piece for me. Having a personal Savior that I could draw strength from and share my joys and sorrows with is the key to the search. It was the realization that I am no longer actively seeking life’s meaning tells me that I have found it. It is no longer that infamous line from Helter Skelter, “When I get to the bottom I go back to the top of the slide. Where I stop and I turn and I go for a ride. Til I get to the bottom then I see you again.”

Icool

Cobb

Kim and Alfred

The big news out of Korea this week was their assertion that they exploded a self produced nuclear device. For a country that does not have enough fuel to run or food to feed itself, this is a major accomplishment. They continuously beg the world for things (being communists, they are perpetually broke) and then complain that they are unfairly mistreated when aid comes with strings attached. Well duh. If your system of government worked, you could tax your citizens to death (like the US government does) but leave them enough to eke out an existence. When you are the driving force in the economy, it is difficult to pay and tax your citizens and come up with anything. So how could a country like Korea find enough money to construct a nuclear program? The answer is really simple; during the 1990’s, the US gave them the equipment and they did the rest.

I do have some reservations about the believability of their announcement. They alluded to their upcoming nuclear test just prior to the actual explosion. Other than the seismological readings that emanated from their portion of the Korean peninsula, there is no actual proof that a nuclear explosion actually happened, other than the announcement by Kim Jong-il, the dictator of North Korea. Let’s just say that he is prone to exaggeration. He once played a round of golf and scored an 18. That is a hole in one on each hole. And it was the first time he played. Why he is not making millions on the pro tour is beyond me. Poor Tiger Woods would be crying on his endorsement contracts if Kim actually played that well. But we all know that is impossible (unless you are Happy Gilmore) to get a hole in one on a 450 yard par 5.

So is it possible that the nuclear explosion was faked? It would not have been the first time that North Korea tried to get the attention of the world through outlandish behavior. Kim Jong-il likes to have the spotlight on him and really does not care what kind of publicity he generates. It’s all good. I can see a division of North Korean soldiers using wheel barrels to bring in load after load of dynamite. Since the technology for tri-nitro-toluene has been around for a while, would certainly be available to North Korea. And it would be right up their alley to pull a stunt like that to stir up the neighborhood. Of course, the inventor of dynamite is probably spinning in his grave. Maybe the committee can find it in their heart to hand out a Nobel Prize for physics for best imitation of a nuclear blast by a third world country. No wait, that sounds more like an academy award nominated category. And the award goes to…

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Cobb

Babbs and Babble

An entertainment article on Yahoo tells a sad tale of Barbara Streisand hitting the concert circuit once again. As I read the page, I realized that this poor lady is almost being forced to go out and perform her musical repertoire to a bunch of people that are paying several hundred dollars per show. The money is needed to fight the battle against the rising tide of prejudice against the policy void politicians of the Democrat party (pronounced the Democratic Party by those who think that we live in a democracy.) Since they have no concrete solutions (other than raising taxes) to any of the difficult current issues that affect our lives, poor Babbs has been forced to go out and sing to help re-elect those she supports. I feel sorry because the liberals have been forced to fall back on their Hollywood connections to bolster support instead of providing their own solutions.

Now adding insult to injury, Babbs is putting on mini-skits during her show. They involve a George Bush look-a-like coming out and making absurd remarks. Now we all know that our President has the ability to mispronounce words and has, on more than one occasion, provided a confused statement. I know that no one else has ever misspoken or made a silly remark, so just our President should be ridiculed. Of course, Babbs is using a teleprompter when she sings to ensure that she gets the words correct. That eliminates her making any remark other than what is written down.

I do not understand the American fascination with actors and Hollywood. You have people that memorize other people’s words, get in front of a camera and recite those words while being filmed and attempt to express the correct emotion while performing. Actors are nothing more than really good mimics. Now most of them are both good looking and fit or they can make people laugh. So you have mimics that have no redeeming quality other than being beautiful or funny, giving opinions about subject they know little about. Wow, makes me want to run out and buy tickets to see Babbs. Of course the two men they interviewed for the article were both excited about seeing her and expressed their delight at the privilege of this once in a life time event. That would be two hours of my life that I know I would never get back and regret the time and gas it took to get there. There is always Nick At Nite and the possibility to see Green Acres in re-runs. Love that Arnold Ziffle.

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Cobb

The Touchy Feely Side of Breaking the Law

Wow. I would not have believed it. The US government is actually enforcing their law on illegal immigration. They are going to places that have incidents of known illegal foreign visitors, investigating them, arresting them, and deporting them. Wow! Who would have thought that this could happen in America? Government officials who are actually enforcing the law and it’s not even a speed trap.

Now we get the after effects of what happens when our government does its job and sends the illegal aliens back to their country of origin. The media went straight to the sensitive side of sending people home and talked about the displacement of families and loss of able bodied workers and how that will cause changes in the places where the deportation is taking place. What? We are talking about arresting criminals and following the law. We get all up in arms when someone robs a bank or cheats investors but are upset when millions of people steal your tax dollars, illegally. You have millions of illegal immigrants have broken the law by entering our country illegally. That means that there is a law that says they cannot be here. Hello! If they robbed your house you would call the police. If they camped out on your front lawn (which is technically what they are doing) there would be a sheriff escorting them somewhere else. To boot, they are using your public services, for free, and our concern is how it will affect the families of those who are being shipped back to their own country. It means that they will be back with their families in their country of origin instead of being in our country illegally.

The article I read says that 2100 illegals have been rounded up so far this year. That is up from 1145 last year. At this rate, we will have all of the illegals rounded up and shipped back in 6000 years if you figure there are about 14,000,000 in America. Congress has decided to put up a wall between Mexico and the US which will help with the steady inflow of unlawful entrants. Mexico does not like the idea of a border and compared it to the Berlin Wall. The difference is that was to keep people in, not to prevent them from leaving. Americans and Mexicans are currently free to travel between countries in a legal manner. A fence helps reduce the amount of illegal travel coming in. I don’t hear Mexico complaining about Americans bringing our dollars into their country and there is little complaint about Mexicans sending billions of dollars home. Just follow the law. Why is that so difficult to understand?

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Cobb

Raising The Roof

We had a major storm with high winds blow through our area earlier this week. It happens enough that you do not notice it but this one made sure I knew it went through. It ripped a 4 X 6 foot section of my shingles off of my garage roof and blew them into the yard. The good news was that the shingles were pretty much in tact. The bad news was that I had to climb up a ladder and reattach them. Since I am Mr. Handyman around the house, this was destined to be quite the thrill.

Since I knew that my evenings were fraught with numerous activities, it would be impossible to do it when I got home after work. So, I took a half a day vacation and set to the project. The first stop was at Lowes (where all good project start) to pick up Liquid Nails and roof sealant. Not being the expert on reattaching shingles, I figured that the best method was to glue them back down. And since some of the shingles were bent, torn, folded, spindled or mutilated, the sealant would be necessary to prevent possible leaking. Next I went and retrieved my ladder. I had lent it to my sister for some home repairs and it is one of those things that you do not miss unless you need it. Then it was getting down to work.

Well the project went about as planned. The shingles are up. It looks like I hired the blind to fix the roof. That would go for pretty much any of my do-it-yourself projects. I can paint but that is about the limit of my abilities. I realize that I will need a new roof in the spring. Fortunately this is the first layer of shingles so they can lay the next one right over this one. I will have to hire it done because I do not have the time or the equipment to do it right. Hopefully, my patch job holds long enough to get us to that point or we will be looking at putting on a roof this fall. Well, it beats the alternatives.

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Cobb

Third Place

America is the world’s only super power. We hold the distinction of being the world’s largest economy, largest consumer of petroleum, largest trash producer, and largest user of water per capita of any country. In an amazing turn, our population is going to top the 300 million mark sometime during the month of October. It has been 39 years since we reached the 200 million mark and 91 years since we topped 100 million. For a continent that was virtually empty 400 years ago, that is a pretty good accomplishment. America continues to grow but the same cannot be said for the civilized countries in Europe. Their populations have either remained static or started to shrink. I wonder if socialism has anything to do with that?

With our population swiftly approaching the 300 million mark, we are only in third place. We still lag behind India (2nd place) and China (1st place) in the population competition. Now the US has a land mass of 3,718,691 sq miles and our population is approaching 300,000,000. India has a land mass of 1,269,338 sq miles and a population (as of mid 2006) of 1,095,351,995 (How they can be that precise on the number of people is mind blowing. They must have one great census bureau.). China has a land mass of 3,705,386 sq miles and a population (as of mid 2006) of 1,313,973,713. If you look at population density, it falls like this:

US 80.674 people per square mile
India 862.93 people per square mile
China 354.61 people per square mile

Looked at that way, India appears to be the most crowded with more than 10 times the population density of the US. The media is making such a big deal out of 300,000,000 that you would think we were standing on each other heads. The east and west coast liberals obviously haven’t driven through the heartland recently. There are some pretty lonely stretches between New York and LA but if you live in either town, it all looks crowded to you. If you are always on the red eye, you never see the wide open fruited plains. Oh to be bi-coastal.

So, as America approaches our population milestone, we are comfortable in our third place position. We have not made it a crime to have more than on child or had mass starvation due to drought. We are a nation of curious people who are innovative enough to find solutions when big problems come up. I guess we need alarmists, if for no other reason to show us what might happen if we follow the path they indicate. They try to make each person into a lemming, blindly following their misdirected notions. Last one in the pool….

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Cobb

Making Lists

As a product of the 70’s, I have an affinity for the music of that era. My particular disposition is towards the rock groups of that era but I enjoy a little disco and pop. I am not a big fan of Led Zeppelin or The Who. Nor am I a heavy metal fan for groups like Iron Maiden or Black Sabbath. I will listen to their music and some of their songs I find to be included in my like to hear again but not enough to purchase them. If I ever get around to buying individual songs on line, I will probably add them to my collection. In the mean time, I am putting together a list of groups and their albums (I know that is an obsolete term but they were albums when I first heard them) that I want to add to my collection. What has astounds me is that there are so many that I do not have.

I am currently up to 81 albums that I need to add to my collection. There are a few sound tracks like Lethal Weapon II, American Anthem, and Xanadu. I am a big ELO fan and have two of their greatest hits and the Discovery album. Xanadu was their major contribution to roller disco and Olivia Newton John has a few tracks that bring back a some memories. Lethal Weapon II was done by Eric Clapton and has his version of Knockin’ On Heavens Door and Cheers Down a song by George Harrison that caught my attention. American Anthem has a song by Andy Taylor of Duran Duran that I have only heard once while watching the movie. I do not even know the title.

I found one that was not even on my list this weekend. I was strolling through Meijer looking for my son (he was playing video games) and found The Firm’s first album. It was an early 80’s super group with Jimmy Page of Led Zeppelin and Paul Rodgers of Bad Company. They put out two albums together which were completely different from their former bands and a pleasure to listen to. Since they only had the first album, I added their second to my need to have list. I am sure that I will find quite a few more gems before I am through. Hopefully the public library has a few of these in stock so I will not have to shell out the big bucks to bring my music collection up to speed. I paid for them with the last library levy so I might as well use them.

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Cobb

You Have A Big Chin

For some reason, insignificant movies quotes are bubbling to the forefront of my consciousness. This one happens to be from the 1994 Disney remake of Angels In The Outfield. The movie stars Danny Glover as George Knox, the manager of the Anaheim Angels, a team that is struggling to win a game. The main antagonist is the field announcer, with the unlikely name of Ranch Wilder, who was the player that ended Knox’s baseball career by injuring him during a game. Ranch likes to try to manage the team from the announcer’s booth which infuriates Knox all the more. The players don’t respect the coach and the coach is pining for the good old days when he was an up and coming star. The movie also stars Tony Danza as a washed up pitcher and Christopher Lloyd as the leader of the Heavenly Host that come in to turn the team around. The main character is a young boy named Roger who went on to star in the sit-com 3rd Rock From the Sun, Joseph Gordon Levitt.

The plot is that Roger is in a foster home. He receives a visit from his father. He asked is dad when they will be a family again. His dad replies, “When the Angels win the pennant”, and races off on his motorcycle. Roger and his room mate, J.P. are always sneaking into the Angels games so they can watch but get a chance to go for free. While at the game, which is going poorly, Roger sees Angels swoop down from the sky and assist the baseball players, which allows them to win. Roger tells the manager, Danny Glover, that Angels are helping the team and he becomes the team mascot. The Christopher Lloyd has a heart to heart with Roger about telling anyone else. The Angels turn the Angels around and they are in a race for the pennant.

Roger and George develop this great friendship during the course of the movie. Just as the season ends, Roger is summoned to court where his father gives up his legal rights and makes his a ward of the state. Roger is crushed because the Angels are so close to winning the pennant. While Roger is in court, the Angels lose a crucial game. J.P. attends the game as the mascot and is upset that the Angels lost. Ranch Wilder is in the locker room and he sits down to interview J.P. who spills his guts about seeing Angels helping the team. After Ranch introduces himself, J.P. says, “You have a big chin.” To which Ranch replies, “Everyone is a critic.”

This is a great family movie and has a great ending. The title ends up offering multiple meanings and you can see the implications from each of the characters angles. Plus you get to see Matthew McConaughey before he became a big star.

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Cobb

Did God Paint You?

A favorite family movie is Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves with Kevin Costner, Morgan Freeman, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, and Alan Rickman. For those who have not seen it, Kevin Costner plays Robin of Locksley an upper crust Englishman who goes off to fight in the Crusades. The movie starts with him and Morgan Freeman (Azeem) in a Muslim prison. Robin is about to get his hand cut off and trick the jailer to cut his own hand off. In the confusion, he escapes with Azeem who because he has saved his life pledges to do the same for Robin. On his return to England, he finds that his family home has been burned, his father hanged as a devil worshipper and he is not wanted. He stands up for a young man that was being hunted by men of the Sheriff of Nottingham (played by Alan Rickman) and makes an enemy of the sheriff. As an outcast, he joins a group of people who have fled to the forest to escape the sheriff’s tyranny.

Alan Rickman plays the Sheriff of Nottingham to the hilt. He is mean to the point of being evil but he makes it fun to be the sheriff. At one point, he is getting ready to go to bed and as he walks by some women in the passage he points at one and says, “You 10:00.” He points at the next woman and says, “You 10:45 and bring a friend.” I laugh every time I see it. The sheriff is plotting to overthrow King Richard while he is away at the crusade. He needs to align himself with the royal house and Maid Marion, played by Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio. Marion and Robin are childhood friends and Marion had a crush on Robin as a teenager. So they develop some chemistry and the competition between the sheriff and Robin begins.

At the point in the film where Robin is training the Merry Men, a young girl walks up to Azeem. She is staring at him in an unusual way. The dialogue goes like this:

Azeem: Salaam, little one.
Small Girl: Did God paint you?
Azeem: Did God paint me?
Azeem: For certain.
Small Girl: Why?
Azeem: Because Allah loves wondrous varieties

The girl has never seen a black man before and her manner is very innocent. It took me a while to understand that part of the film because Azeem has tattoos and I thought she was referencing them. After I realized that tattoos were common back them, I figured out that she meant his skin. Once the light bulb turned on, his statement back to her made perfect sense.

If you haven’t seen the movie, I recommend it. Brian Adams does his biggest hit as the movie closer. A perfect ending to a great film.

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Cobb