National Park May Soon Be Americas Biggest Polluter

A Yahoo news article provides the shocking news that the ground has begun rising under Yellowstone National Park. At first they thought that the Pillsbury Dough Boy had fallen into Old Faithful and the combination of heat and confined space was causing him to rise to the occasion. But the Dough Boy has recently been spotted sandwiched between Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton at a posh Mexican resort so another line of reasoning had to be brought into play. The latest suggestion is that magma is rising from the Earth’s crust and accumulating beneath the surface.

Geological evidence sheds light that the Yellowstone area has been the site of at least three massive volcanic eruptions in the past. The first event has been dated at 2 million years ago and the most recent was 642,000 years ago. I love the precise estimate of 642,000 years ago. All three of the eruptions were estimated to be greater that Mount St. Helens which for those who were too young to remember can be found on you-tube I am sure.

So what happens when our beloved Yellowstone Park starts to spew ash and caustic gasses into the atmosphere? All of the tree hugging, spotted owl saving, environmentalists will all have a new target to go after. They can no longer blame inanimate objects like SUV’s or coal plants for blotting out the sun and being the major cause of environmental decay. With all of the sulfur and ash in the air, it won’t be a matter of global warming anymore. It will be a little chillier and we may have extinction on a massive scale for any species in the path of the clouds. Wow, you can get PETA in on the act as well.
I can just see their new bumper sticker campaign. It will be a picture of a volcano with that red circle around it and the slash through it. The slogan underneath will read Just Say No To Eruptions. Boy that will tell them.



Icool

Cobb