What A Dope
I broke down a bought a pair of rollerblades Wednesday night. I am not sure that I am going to live through learning to use them. First, since my shoe size is 13, I had to call around to find a store that carried a size that big. Most in-line skates only go to size 12 and some are smaller yet. Of the three stores I contacted, one has discontinued carrying rollerblades, and the other two had only one make that fit my foot. So, I took the plunge and picked up a pair. I also got a pair of knee pads that would make a goalie proud.
So, I get all set up this morning and try to get out of the garage. My son parked his bike right where I needed to get through, so I had to gingerly step over his bike in skates and pads. I am grasping the top of my wife’s car for dear life, trying not to fall on my butt. I made it past the first obstacle shaken but not beaten. Next was getting out of the driveway which was almost my undoing. The complete lack of how to operate the skates along with the gentle downward slope of the driveway allowed me to glide, very quickly toward the street. I could see how it was going to end so I swerved onto the grass to stop. From there I walked to the sidewalk. The concrete allowed for slower forward motion but I could not figure out how to propel myself. Everything I tried made me lose my balance. So now I am standing in the middle of the street. It is 5:00AM so there is no traffic. My goal is to make it to the bike path which is 15 feet away. I did the windmill a few times and managed to reach that goal.
Now I am on the bike path and again attempting forward motion with no success. I get half way past the first house on the path, sweat pouring off my brow, my calves on fire and frustrated beyond belief. This is torture and I turned around and headed for home. I made it back to the sidewalk next to the street and realized that I had to cross again. I reach down, unbuckle the skates and take them off. I remove the knee pads and walk home in my socks. The entire episode took about 15 minutes. I wanted a good workout and I may have gotten it but not how I envisioned. I want to take the skates back and forget about this episode but I know that I can master this. Watch the kids and practice your balance before you move to the next level. Americans, we are so impatient. If I have to practice, it must be a waste of time. So, if you see a big goof, early in the morning, looking like he’s losing a log rolling contest, its just me, learning to skate.
Icool
Cobb
So, I get all set up this morning and try to get out of the garage. My son parked his bike right where I needed to get through, so I had to gingerly step over his bike in skates and pads. I am grasping the top of my wife’s car for dear life, trying not to fall on my butt. I made it past the first obstacle shaken but not beaten. Next was getting out of the driveway which was almost my undoing. The complete lack of how to operate the skates along with the gentle downward slope of the driveway allowed me to glide, very quickly toward the street. I could see how it was going to end so I swerved onto the grass to stop. From there I walked to the sidewalk. The concrete allowed for slower forward motion but I could not figure out how to propel myself. Everything I tried made me lose my balance. So now I am standing in the middle of the street. It is 5:00AM so there is no traffic. My goal is to make it to the bike path which is 15 feet away. I did the windmill a few times and managed to reach that goal.
Now I am on the bike path and again attempting forward motion with no success. I get half way past the first house on the path, sweat pouring off my brow, my calves on fire and frustrated beyond belief. This is torture and I turned around and headed for home. I made it back to the sidewalk next to the street and realized that I had to cross again. I reach down, unbuckle the skates and take them off. I remove the knee pads and walk home in my socks. The entire episode took about 15 minutes. I wanted a good workout and I may have gotten it but not how I envisioned. I want to take the skates back and forget about this episode but I know that I can master this. Watch the kids and practice your balance before you move to the next level. Americans, we are so impatient. If I have to practice, it must be a waste of time. So, if you see a big goof, early in the morning, looking like he’s losing a log rolling contest, its just me, learning to skate.
Icool
Cobb
posted by Cobb at
6:35 AM
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