Neanderthals and Tofu

Articles on Yahoo today indicate that Neanderthals did not die off from a global climate change. That is a huge load off of my mind. I was very concerned that man’s predecessors were responsible for the global climate change that melted the glaciers and doomed the Neanderthals. After all, it was our desire to stay warm that caused us to light fires and I am sure that, along with the flatulence from the herds of wild animals, led to the melting of the glaciers and the restoration of what we think is normal temperatures here on Earth. I can now sleep at night knowing that we do not have to pay reparations to the surviving ancestors that extinct species of human. They are extinct anyway but I am sure a clever lawyer could scheme up some way to weasel money out of someone. After all, someone got paid for a hot cup of coffee to the lap. Oops!

Another article on Yahoo discusses how eating less meat will slow climate change. Well, this harkens back to why the Neanderthals became extinct. Maybe if they had switched from being omnivores to a strict vegan diet, they may still be around. It was all of that meat eating that must have led to the global warming that caused the end of the ice age and spelled doom to the species. If the Chinese restaurant in the next cave complex had only had tofu lo mien instead of sweet and sour pork, we would be able to commune with our Neanderthal cousins and be living in peace and harmony. But no, the Chinese cuisine as we know it had not been invented yet and we end up with warmer weather and the mass extinction of numerous animal species.

So to save ourselves from further environmental disasters, we should all turn off our heat and switch to a strict vegetarian diet. We will probably freeze to death come the middle of December but there are those living in the south that would be able to vacation here in the summer. As for a vegetarian diet, I know that many items on that menu give me “the wind something fierce.” Eliminating flatulence may not be the best long term solution. The best long term solution would be to stop looking to solve something that mother Earth has managed since creation. We have had volcanoes and ice ages long before recorded history and life has still managed to flourish. Of course, the fossil records provide a record of the extinctions that have occurred over the years. I am sure the Neanderthals though many of them were very tasty.

Icool

Cobb