A Link Between Global Warming and Aging

I apologize for another jab at the supposition kings over at the global warming conspiracy club. They booked the same convention hall a week after the president of Iran held his Holocaust Is A Lie dinner and dance. The amazing thing about their meeting is they have drawn another conclusion from all of the observations that have been collected about global warming and its effects on the environment. I was astounded to hear that global warming is now the leading candidate to blame on the aging process. I know, hard to believe but here is their thread.

It was noticed by one of the more prominent members of their body that everyone had aged one year since their last annual convention in New Orleans. At the New Orleans meeting, everyone was taking about how fast the waters rose as their meeting was concluding. Everyone was certain that the ice caps were melting like an ice cube under a McDonald’s heat lamp. Once they learned that it was a hurricane and not the result of the polar glaciers melting, they immediately labeled the hurricane a result of global warming and adjourned to higher ground.

As this year’s meeting started, it was introduced that the ravages of global warming had an extreme affect on the human aging process. Since man had continued to drive around in cars, let cows pass gas, and generally live normal lives, there had been an addition to the number of years each member of the conference had lived. This link to global warming and aging was assigned to a senior fellow at a major university to apply for grants and other federal money to study the effects. The paper is to be published just prior to the annual meeting next year from the coast line in the Himalayas peaks. It was deemed the only safe place to hold a meeting now that the glaciers are practically melted. Or was that the Velveeta on their lunch plate. Pass the Chardonnay please.

Icool

Cobb