My Fair Lady

I am one of the lucky ones. I have been married once, to the same woman, who has also been married only once. We are celebrating our 18th year of marriage and have been together (as in a couple) for 20 years this coming January. We started dating shortly after I got out of the Army and I proposed Memorial Day weekend of 1987. We were married in October of 1988 after I finished my degree at UT. We never lived together until after we were married which again is a rarity from what I understand. Being married for 18 years seems to be a rare thing these days and to the same person even less likely.

Many of my oldest daughter’s friends are from split homes. They all float between parent’s houses in another state from weekend to weekend. It is hard to keep who is where straight but thanks to the instant communication device of the cell phone, it has become easier to track people down. All of her friends seem to be well adjusted and take shuffling like it is a normal fact of life. For them I guess it is. It is hard for me to imagine having two sets of parents. I realize that I got them after I was married but it is a different kind of parental set. We have a generation of children whose view of parenting is much skewed from that of the children of the 70’s.

But I have been blessed with someone that shares my goals, dreams, and temperament. We have had one real fight in 18 years and that was on disciplining our first dog. I knew that we needed to get her (the dog’s) attention to stop her from tearing up the house and my wife disapproved of my method. I did what I thought was right and the dog’s behavior changed. It was not that I wanted to win the fight, I just wanted to correct the dog. Maybe that is the key to a successful marriage. In a loving relationship, it is not about keeping score and winning. It about sharing and making sure you put those you love before yourself. My father gave me some words of advice when I started dating my beautiful wife. He said, “Treat her in the manner to which she is accustomed.” I know at the time he meant financially, but I have come to understand that it is a mix of emotional, financial, and spiritual well being that makes it truly successful. Of course finding the right girl also helps.

Icool

Cobb