PETOD

I know that I have railed against PETA before but I saw something over the weekend that just sent me over the edge. I never thought I would be yelling at the television during Saturday morning cartoons but I have officially stepped into the deep end. The kids had Lilo and Stitch, the cartoon series based on the movie of the same name, playing. I was playing CIV and listening to tunes. Lilo was had built a city made of cereal boxes, Dixie cups, old bottles and other discarded packaging. She was populating the city with bugs. As her sister was running around the house trying to kill the escaped bugs, Lilo was foiling her by spraying water on her and attempting to convince her that bugs are people too. Disney went from Bambi and all hunters are evil to Lilo and if you kill bugs you’re killing people. I can see the next big push is going to be to stop the evil farmers from planting crops in the ground because organized farming hurts the soil. So, let’s start now and form People For The Ethical Treatment of Dirt (PETOD).

The idea of treating insects ethically is just beyond me. Why would Disney even go there? Has anyone heard of West Nile Virus or Malaria? How about cock roaches to tsetse flies? Is there anyone that can actually say they enjoy being bitten by mosquitoes and flies? Well maybe that guy in the Off commercial but there is one in every crowd. Insects have the reputation of being dirty, filthy, disease carrying vermin. That does not mean that they aren’t beneficial. They are the garbage collectors of the world but by hanging around dead things, they also carry infection. This doesn’t make them bad, it just makes them something that we do not want hanging around.

So who would be the spokesman for PETOD? I can see that horse faced actress from Hoes in the Hood (Sex in the City) Sarah Jessica Parker (three names, must be a serial killer). She is stupid enough to want to protect dirt from unethical people. I find that any position she takes on any issue is exactly the opposite of what any logical person would take. That means she would be stopping the innocent murder of worms by those evil farmers, stopping top soil erosion, returning farm land to its natural state, and ensuring that genetically engineered seeds are permanently banned for all eternity. I can even see tractors becoming the new SUV’s like with the green movement. The fact that this run counter to vegetarian thought means nothing. Let the people starve. After all, they are the lesser of two evils. Save the soil. Now we can’t eat meat, kill bugs, or plant crops. Well there is always canned food.

Icool

Cobb