When To Listen
I had a very blessed weekend. Not because I won the lottery or came into any windfall. It was a true blessing and not something gained through my own effort. It was freely given and unsolicited. A friend from church asked me how my wife was doing and I answered that she was still working to help her mother move into her new place. Her response turned my current state of mind upside down.
I knew that she had been dealing with her own mother for some time but when she explained what she was doing and that others had similar experiences, it opened my eyes to my very un-Christian behavior. She had been slowly taking over making the decisions for her mother, not because she wanted to or because her mother was no longer able. Her mother simply stopped making decisions. It was the big ones at first but it quietly degenerated into decisions as simple as what to wear. She had brought some of her mother's winter clothes from storage for her to hang up in the closet. On her next visit, they were still in the same place she had set them. A decision as simple as hanging up clothes was beyond her ability.
I realized that my mother-in-law was facing similar issues. She had not gone as far as my friend's mother but big decisions were starting to create pockets of indecision. I realized that my mother-in-law needed my wife to help her through this difficult period and my attitude toward her was crushing my wife between two important people in her life. I had been staying home to take care of the kids and the house to allow my wife time to help her mother but had been growing ever more resentful for the time she was stealing from my family. Well, she is my family and although an adult and capable of rational thought, she is an older adult who has had some recent traumatic things happen in her life that may be clouding her thought processes. I needed to be more mindful of the situation and less focused on what is was doing to me.
Sometimes, it is important to just spend time listening to the trials and tribulation of your friends. There is wisdom in them there hills.
Icool
cobb
I knew that she had been dealing with her own mother for some time but when she explained what she was doing and that others had similar experiences, it opened my eyes to my very un-Christian behavior. She had been slowly taking over making the decisions for her mother, not because she wanted to or because her mother was no longer able. Her mother simply stopped making decisions. It was the big ones at first but it quietly degenerated into decisions as simple as what to wear. She had brought some of her mother's winter clothes from storage for her to hang up in the closet. On her next visit, they were still in the same place she had set them. A decision as simple as hanging up clothes was beyond her ability.
I realized that my mother-in-law was facing similar issues. She had not gone as far as my friend's mother but big decisions were starting to create pockets of indecision. I realized that my mother-in-law needed my wife to help her through this difficult period and my attitude toward her was crushing my wife between two important people in her life. I had been staying home to take care of the kids and the house to allow my wife time to help her mother but had been growing ever more resentful for the time she was stealing from my family. Well, she is my family and although an adult and capable of rational thought, she is an older adult who has had some recent traumatic things happen in her life that may be clouding her thought processes. I needed to be more mindful of the situation and less focused on what is was doing to me.
Sometimes, it is important to just spend time listening to the trials and tribulation of your friends. There is wisdom in them there hills.
Icool
cobb
posted by Cobb at
7:31 AM
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